On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?

Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships?

Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners.

Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles.

As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

How to Practice Wise Compassion

How to Break Negative Patterns

How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships

How to Prioritize Clear Communication

How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls

How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience

Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro 02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age? 05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters 08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time 13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship 17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate 21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection? 24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner? 28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires 31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate 35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story 37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries 42:36 We All Want to Be Liked 45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet 49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time 52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating 57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping 01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person? 01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages 01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage? 01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue 01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt 01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner? 

Episode Resources:

Lori Gottlieb | YouTube Lori Gottlieb | Instagram Lori Gottlieb | Website Dear Therapists Podcast Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time?

What’s one way you avoid distractions?

Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier.

Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (yes, really!) to emphasize how slowing down can improve our lives.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Slow Down for Better Productivity

How to Stay Present in Conversations

How to Find Calm by Unplugging

How to Build Stronger Focus Habits

How to Reclaim Your Attention

By setting intentional boundaries, slowing down, and practicing mindfulness, we can take back our attention in a way that enhances productivity, deepens our relationships, and brings peace to our daily lives. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:46 Have You Been Feeling More Distracted?

04:03 What Research Says About the Decline in Focus

06:12 Majority of Us Can’t Multitask

09:00 Doing Things Slower Makes Better Progress

11:43 #1: The Pomodoro Technique

13:38 #2: No Tech Zones, No Tech Times

15:56 #3: Go For a Walk, Stay Off Your Phone

20:34 #4: Finish What You Start

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you handle negative self-talk?

What helps you overcome self-doubt?

Today, Jay sits down with Grammy Award-winning artist Alicia Keys as she shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and holistic living. Alicia founded Keys SoulCare, a skincare line emphasizing holistic well-being, and is a co-founder of the initiative She Is the Music, advocating for gender equality in the music industry. The conversation sheds light into Alicia's evolution from a young girl with dreams to an icon balancing a multifaceted career. Jay and Alicia discuss the highs and lows of fame, navigating self-doubt, and the pressures of public life, providing listeners with valuable insights on managing stress and fostering a positive self-image.

Alicia reflects on her childhood fears and the challenges of finding self-worth, candidly revealing how these experiences shaped her. She emphasizes the importance of staying grounded through practices like affirmations, journaling, and mindful rituals—habits that help her stay true to herself amid a whirlwind career. 

Jay and Alicia then talk about the beauty of affirmations and the importance of letting go of perfectionism, a journey that led Alicia to adopt a more holistic approach to life. In her partnership with husband Swizz Beatz, she finds a harmonious balance of "flow" and "design," where they support each other's growth and freedom. This dynamic extends to their parenting style, where they teach their children gratitude and self-acceptance while instilling a sense of humility and grace.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Embrace Your True Self

How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Fear

How to Find Confidence Within Yourself

How to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positivity

How to Discover Your Inner Strength

How to Set Boundaries for Self-Care

How to Be Kind to Yourself

How to Trust Your Own Choices

The journey through self-doubt, fears, and external pressures highlights the importance of staying grounded, trusting intuition, and letting go of the need to seek others' approval. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro 03:54 What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? 05:34 When You Have the Need to Protect Yourself 09:02 From Being Doubtful to Becoming Curious 13:43 What Is Your Affirmation Today? 15:30 Stop Being Mean to Yourself 19:06 Finding the Will to Love Your Own Skin 26:49 Spend More Time with Yourself 32:14 The Gifts and the Gaps 36:19 What Have You Learned From Your Partner? 38:06 Having Healthy Conflict in Your Relationship 45:53 Finding Balance Between Control and Flow 47:51 The Love for Crystals 51:32 Losing the Ability to Trust Yourself 57:15 What Are Your Go-To Rituals to Feel Better? 01:00:08 Teach Your Children to Practice Gratitude 01:03:45 Allow Other People to Speak and Just Listen 01:05:22 Creating Safe Space for Children 01:09:35 Hell’s Kitchen on Broadway 01:15:19 Be Clear with Your Vision 01:22:12 How Have You Protected Yourself from Fame and Success? 01:26:32 Alicia in Final Five

Episode Resources:

Alicia Keys | Website Alicia Keys | YouTube Alicia Keys | Instagram Alicia Keys | Facebook Alicia Keys | TikTok

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you open to just being friends with an ex?

Do you think they want the same kind of friendship?

Today, Jay’s diving into a question we've all probably wrestled with at some point: can you really stay friends with an ex? He kicks things off by laying down some ground rules, pointing out that not every ex is friendship material, especially if there was any toxicity or harm in the relationship. For those open to trying a platonic bond post-breakup, he highlights the real-life complexities and the level of emotional maturity it takes to make it work.

Jay also brings in some interesting science, sharing that studies show people stay connected with their exes for reasons like security, convenience, keeping things civil, or even unresolved feelings. But each of these reasons can get messy, and Jay explains that often, the urge to stay friends might have more to do with wanting a sense of safety or familiarity than with genuine friendship.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Decide if an Ex Deserves Friendship

How to Set Boundaries with an Ex

How to Manage Shared Friends Post-Breakup

How to Avoid Using Friendship to Win Them Back

How to Avoid Hurting Your Ex Twice

Sometimes, the boldest and most courageous thing you can do is to walk away, taking the lessons with you and leaving the rest behind. Focus on what makes you feel good and helps you build the life you truly want. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:52 Not Every Ex Deserves Friendship

04:36 Four Core Reasons People Stay Friends with Their Exes

09:30 Four Ways to Know Being Friends with an Ex Won’t Work

13:52 How to Start Being Friends with an Ex?

18:33 Friends and Family Can be Casualties of a Breakup

21:41 Establish New Rules of Engagement

22:50 Consider the Welfare of Children

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you usually handle stress?

Have you tried hypnosis for stress?

Today, Jay with Dr. David Spiegel, a leading expert in psychiatry and behavioral sciences, to explore the transformative power of hypnotherapy. Dr. Spiegel, with over 45 years of experience in clinical and research fields, shares profound insights into the science behind hypnosis, dispelling myths and misconceptions. He explains how hypnosis is a natural, self-directed process that allows individuals to tap into heightened focus, manage pain, reduce stress, and address deep-seated traumas.

The conversation begins with Dr. Spiegel explaining the foundations of hypnosis, highlighting its ability to narrow one’s focus, similar to a telephoto lens, and create a dissociative state where one can temporarily suspend self-limiting beliefs. This unique focus enables users to challenge habitual thoughts and reframe experiences. Dr. Spiegel shares real-life success stories, such as a war veteran who found peace with traumatic memories and individuals overcoming chronic pain and stress using hypnosis.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Sleep Better Using Hypnosis

How to Improve Focus by Narrowing Attention

How to Process Trauma Safely with Hypnosis

How to Use Visualization to Relieve Stress

How to Focus Your Attention Deeply

How to Filter Out Pain with Hypnosis

By learning how to access a focused, relaxed state, you can reshape your response to pain, manage stress more effectively, and explore emotions or memories that might otherwise feel overwhelming. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro 02:17 What is Hypnosis 05:08 How Beneficial Hypnosis is For You? 09:14 What Happens to Your Brain During Hypnosis 14:40 Can You Control Other People with Hypnosis? 16:13 Is It Possible to Hypnotize Anyone? 26:14 You’re Still in Control of Your Body 31:28 How Can Hypnotherapy After Memory Recall? 38:29 Guided Hypnotherapy at Home is Possible 40:59 Let Your Brain Heal Your Body  43:34 The Worst Mental Case Under Hypnosis 50:26 We Lose the Hypnotic Ability as We Age 55:39 How Hypnosis Can Help You Focus More 57:38 David on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Reveri | YouTube Reveri | Instagram Reveri | Facebook Reveri | LinkedIn Reveri | Website

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever felt like success affected your dating life?

Have you ever felt judged for your level of ambition?

Today, Jay addresses the insecurities some men may feel when partnered with highly driven women, shedding light on societal conditioning and personal growth. discusses how societal expectations traditionally placed men in provider roles, which can lead to an unease when faced with a partner who exemplifies drive and independence.

Jay also delves into recent studies, such as the "Clooney Effect," showing that most men actually value intelligence and confidence in their partners. By examining these narratives, Jay dispels myths that successful women are inherently intimidating to men. Instead, he encourages ambitious women not to diminish their goals but to seek partners who celebrate and complement their journey.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to embrace your ambition without guilt

How to address insecurities in your relationship

How to balance mutual respect and personal ambition

How to seek partners who uplift, not compete

How to identify and avoid unhealthy relationship roles

True partnership means valuing each other's journey, working through insecurities together, and building a foundation where both people can grow freely and authentically.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:49 Are Men Less Attracted to Successful Women?

05:15 Men Have Had to Play the Protective Role

06:48 The Negative Dating Mindset You Should Stop Having

13:04 Have an Understanding of What Both are Pursuing

14:29 Are You Making Your Partner Feel Insecure?

18:29 What Makes You a Healthy Partner?

21:04 Respect Each Other’s Ambitions

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does a balanced life look like for you?

Are you getting enough time to recharge?

Today, Jay engages in a deeply reflective conversation with legendary actor, filmmaker, and writer Tom Hanks. With a career spanning over four decades, Hanks is renowned for his roles in iconic films like Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Cast Away, and The Green Mile, earning him two Academy Awards.

Tom opens up about his unconventional childhood, moving frequently and adjusting to new environments, which shaped his adaptability and taught him the art of letting go. As he reflects on his career, he discusses how he continues to find purpose and depth in his work, emphasizing the joy of collaboration and the importance of staying curious.

Together, Jay and Tom discuss how certain locations hold emotional weight, becoming symbols of comfort or life-changing reflection. They also touch on generational wisdom, the role of luck, and finding joy in small, shared experiences. With his characteristic humor and humility, Tom offers listeners a glimpse into his contemplative nature and the lessons he's learned over the years, reminding us all of the power of presence and community.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Find Comfort in Solitude

How to Embrace Life's Unexpected Changes

How to Connect Across Generations

How to Trust Your Instincts and Take Risks

How to Stay Curious at Any Age

How to Discover Purpose in Your Work

How to Show Up Fully in Relationships

How to Find Wisdom in Life’s Challenges

How to Pursue Meaning over Perfection

Life isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about embracing the unknown with openness, honoring the journey, and finding meaning in each moment, each experience, and each relationship. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro 01:17 Early Life Lessons: Childhood, Change, and Resilience 05:37 Mastering the Art of Detachment 10:15 Discovering Theater and Passion in High School 18:56 Can We Create Our Own Luck?  21:35 Exploring the Sacred Sites of Jerusalem 27:03 Owning Your Mistakes and When to Take Personal Responsibility 30:52 The Third Space: Finding Balance Beyond Work and Home 37:03 Fathers and the Lasting Impact on Their Sons 38:42 Nurturing Kids’ Interests for Genuine Growth 42:59 The Value of Academic Ambition 45:21 Capturing the Present: Finding Magic in Every Moment 52:46 Reflections on Seeing Your Younger Self in the Movie  55:03 Finding Presence in Everyday Life 58:04 The Freedom of Following Your True Desires 01:04:25 Imagining the Dream Life: Building a Path to Fulfillment 01:07:29 Themes of Time and Place in the Film Here 01:09:01 The Fascination with Reaching the Moon 01:11:04 Unraveling a Deep Fascination with WWII 01:18:01 Becoming America’s Most Trusted Voice 01:21:07 Grateful for the Blessings of Family 01:22:04 Observing Life’s Passing Moments 01:27:42 Honored with Greek Citizenship 01:31:31 Tom on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Tom Hanks | Instagram

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever regretted not saying something sooner?

Do you think holding in your emotions causes stress?

Today, Jay takes us on a journey through the principles of the Tell Them Method, explaining that whether it's a simple decision like not wanting to attend an event or a deeper emotion like feeling unappreciated, the key is to directly communicate those feelings to the person involved. He highlights that most of us practice what he calls the "Tell Everyone But Them" method—where we vent to others but avoid speaking directly to the person who needs to hear it. This behavior, Jay argues, not only erodes trust and intimacy in relationships but also traps negative emotions within us, leading to stress and even physical discomfort.

Jay uses relatable anecdotes and insights from research to underline the significance of expressing emotions in a healthy way. He discusses how bottled-up emotions can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, overreactions, and even health problems. By directly telling people how we feel—whether it’s disappointment, love, or frustration—Jay believes we open the door to deeper understanding and connection.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Use the Tell Them Method

How to Stop Avoiding Hard Conversations

How to Pick the Best Time to Talk

How to Share Feelings Without Fighting

How to Ask Instead of Accuse

Practicing the "Tell Them Method" approach in everyday life not only improves our relationships but also enhances our emotional well-being, giving us the clarity and peace that comes from being truthful and intentional in our interactions.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:33 What is the Tell Them Method?

06:11 Why it’s Hard to Tell Someone How You Feel

09:29 Underestimate the Value of How Something is Said

16:06 The Three Things That Happen When Emotion is Experienced

18:26 How Trapped Emotions Can Create Trauma

22:52 Figure Out the Best Time to Talk About It

25:57 Don’t Wait for the Last Minute to Tell Them

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever tried different ways to get rid of belly fat?

Have you ever tried different ways to suppress your appetite?

Today, Jay welcomes women’s health expert, bestselling author, and podcast host Dr. Mindy Pelz to discuss how women can optimize their health, particularly through fasting, hormones, and metabolic health. Dr. Pelz explains the biological differences between men and women and emphasizes the importance of understanding the female body's rhythms and cycles for maintaining health and hormonal balance.

Dr. Pelz begins by discussing common fasting mistakes, highlighting how doing the same fast daily can slow down metabolism. She introduces the concept of "feast-famine cycling," stressing the need for variety in fasting durations and windows, particularly for women. According to her, fasting must be adapted to the individual’s lifestyle and, for women, their menstrual cycle. She also addresses Jay’s personal approach to fasting and offers tailored advice for him, including when to eat before and after workouts.

The conversation then turns to the topic of belly fat and how stress and toxins contribute to weight gain, particularly around the belly area. Dr. Pelz explains that excess cortisol, which is heightened by stress, leads to belly fat, and she provides practical tips to manage cortisol levels, including movement, time in nature, and spending time with positive people.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Start Fasting Gradually

How to Manage Stress with Movement

How to Reduce Belly Fat Naturally

How to Customize Your Eating Schedule

How to Stabilize Blood Sugar with Timing

How to Stay Full Longer with Healthy Fats

How to Lose Weight with Fasting Cycles

How to Align Fasting with Your Menstrual Cycle

The message is clear: everyone has the ability to transform their well-being by taking small, intentional steps toward a healthier lifestyle. With the right mindset and commitment, a vibrant and balanced life is within reach for all. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro 02:59 The Worst Mistake One Can Make While Fasting 04:38 How Do You Fast Properly? 06:22 What’s Your Intention for Your Health? 09:37 What’s the Fastest Way to Lose Belly Fat? 13:42 Common Toxins That Accumulate in the Body 18:00 The Chemicals that Turn Stems Cells to Fat Cells 19:43 Does Counting Calories Matter?   25:45 How to Have a Better Relationship with Food 29:16 How to Detox from Sugar Cravings 32:47 How Much Protein Should You Eat? 38:19 What is Toxic Fat? 39:50 When is the Best Time to Eat Fat? 43:38 Are You Getting Enough Nutrients for Your Hormones? 46:14 What is the Fasting Cycle? 49:08 The Female’s Hormonal System is Highly Complex 52:52 Should You Reconsider Hormone Replacement Therapy? 55:22 Positive LIfestyle Changes That Could Help You 58:40 Is There Anyone Who SHouldn’t Fast? 59:58 What is a Clean Protein? 01:03:25 How to Empower Your Body 01:04:40 How to Know Your Got Your Meal Right 01:09:09 How Do You Train Yourself to Fast? 01:12:44 Is the Female Body Meant to Have More Fat? 01:17:37 How Do You Manage Fasting and Working Out? 01:20:22 Mindy on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Dr. Mindy Pelz | Website Dr. Mindy Pelz | Instagram Dr. Mindy Pelz | Facebook Dr. Mindy Pelz | YouTube  Dr. Mindy Pelz | LinkedIn Eat Like a Girl: 100+ Delicious Recipes to Balance Hormones, Boost Energy, and Burn Fat

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you find yourself thinking about your ex often?

What has been the hardest part of moving on for you?

Today, Jay taps into the emotional complexities of getting over an ex and provides actionable steps to move forward. Drawing on insights from neuroscience and psychology, Jay explains why it's entirely normal to struggle with letting go of a past relationship, even if it's been months or years. The emotional pain we experience after a breakup, he explains, is comparable to drug withdrawal, highlighting the deep biological connections we form with our partners.

One of the most impactful ideas Jay shares is that clinging to the past steals energy and time from the future. By ruminating over what could have been, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to build new experiences and relationships. Ultimately, Jay’s message is clear: while it's natural to struggle with letting go, the key to healing lies in breaking old patterns, embracing new habits, and shifting our focus toward growth. If you or someone you know is struggling to move on from a past relationship, this episode offers practical tools and compassionate advice to help start the journey toward healing.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Heal by Changing Your Environment

How to Replace Emotional Attachment After a Breakup

How to Shift Focus from the Past to the Present

How to Build Confidence Without External Validation

How to Move On by Breaking Old Patterns

Trust that with patience and self-compassion, you will find the strength to not only move on, but to thrive in ways you never imagined. You deserve the love and happiness that comes from within—keep moving forward, you're stronger than you know.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:29 What to Do If You’re Still Not Over Your Ex?

04:11 What Research Shows About Breakups

07:20 #1: Change Your Environment

13:26 #2: Identify What You’re Missing: Habit or Emotion

17:18 #5: Focus on Building Your Life

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.