Essentials: How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners in the Short & Long Term | Dr. David Buss
02 October 2025

Essentials: How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners in the Short & Long Term | Dr. David Buss

Huberman Lab

About
In this Huberman Lab Essentials episode, my guest is Dr. David Buss, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and a pioneer in the field of evolutionary psychology.

We explore the science behind human mate selection in both short- and long-term relationships. We discuss universal traits valued in long-term partners along with key differences between women and men in what they prioritize when selecting a mate. We also discuss the darker aspects of mating behavior, such as deception, the evolutionary function of jealousy and the motivations behind stalking.

Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

(0:00) David Buss

(0:21) Mate Selection, Preferences & Competition

(3:26) Desirable Qualities of Men & Women, Universal Traits for Long-Term Mates

(4:38) Women’s Preferences; Men’s Preferences; Age Differences

(8:58) Sponsor: LMNT

(10:32) Mate Deception & Online Dating, Tool: Travel, Stress & Emotional Stability

(13:41) Short- vs Long-Term Mates, Men vs Women Preferences

(15:58) Sponsor: AGZ by AG1

(17:27) Jealousy, Mate Value Discrepancy, Vigilance to Violence

(20:58) The Dark Triad, Sexual Harassment & Coercion

(22:18) Stalking, Motivations & Outcomes

(24:57) Sponsor: Function

(26:38) Childhood Attachment Styles & Relationship Stability

(27:43) Self-Assessment for Mate Value, Self-Esteem

(31:20) Evolutionary Psychology & Neuroscience

(32:05) David Buss’ Books; Acknowledgements

Disclaimer & Disclosures
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