How to Stay Grounded: Advice from a Parental Alienation Support Group Founder

When your child won't talk to you, the pain can feel so physical that you don't know where to put it. Lawrence Joss knows that feeling well. He started Parental Alienation Advocates because he couldn't find anything that could "reach the itch," and today its free, peer-run 12-step meetings, Parental Alienation Anonymous (PAA), are a lifeline for alienated parents and grandparents around the world.

Right before we recorded, we got a message from someone who knows us both, saying PAA saved his life and his relationship with his daughter. So we asked Lawrence to walk us through what actually works when the court system is grinding you down and your kids are pulling away.

What he shared challenges a lot of well-meaning advice. Taking the high road isn't always the right move. "Being nice is not a shortcut." Insisting everyone understand the words "parental alienation" can cost you more than it gains. And stepping back to give your child space, without understanding the consequences, can quietly reinforce the other parent's message that you don't care.

Most of all, Lawrence keeps coming back to one truth: if you aren't grounded and resourced, you can't show up the way your kids, the judge, or you yourself need you to.
In this conversation, you'll learn:

✅ Why family court problems are systemic, not personal, and how that shift protects you
✅ How to tell the difference between acceptance and giving up when your child rejects you
✅ How to ask the court for relief without ever using the label "parental alienation"
✅ Why a "cooling off" period can backfire in alienation cases
✅ What to say when friends and acquaintances ask how your kids are doing
✅ How to check your motives before showing up at your child's events
✅ What to expect at your first Parental Alienation Anonymous meeting

Lawrence also shares his own story: six years with no contact with one daughter, blocked on everything, and then, after years of doing his own work, reconnecting with her and meeting his grandkids for the first time. As he puts it, "It didn't come in the order that I wanted, but it came in the order that I needed."

If you've been told it's too late, or you're exhausted from carrying this alone, this episode is for you. You deserve support through this, and you don't have to find it by yourself.

CONNECT WITH LAWRENCE JOSS & PARENTAL ALIENATION ADVOCATES

🌐 Parental Alienation Advocates: https://pa-a.org
🤝 Parental Alienation Anonymous meetings: https://parentalalienationanonymous.com
🎙️ Podcast: Family Disappeared (search it on your favorite podcast app)

BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES

📖 Our book, When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GDJQKLVK
📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
📞 Book a free 30-minute discovery call: https://beentheregotout.com
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out

This video is for educational purposes and is not legal or mental health advice. If you are in crisis in the U.S., call or text 988. For domestic violence support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

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