Riana Malia: Why Do You Almost Get What You Want—But Don’t?

Riana Malia is a board-certified integrative neurosomatic practitioner and identity architect, and we spoke about why high-capacity people often achieve success everywhere except the area they want most—extraordinary love. After confronting her own patterns and doing the work she now teaches, she created a three-phase methodology—Clear, Create, Claim—grounded in the belief that “you can’t go from being held back by old story… to just living your very best life.” Her turning point came when she realized lasting change requires clearing emotional residue before building something new.

Her approach starts with radical clarity. Many people think they know what they want, yet end up ordering the “Caesar salad for the rest of your life instead of the figs and the arugula.” She guides clients to define values, non-negotiables, and desires so they can make “clean yes and clean no decisions,” eliminating the exhausting middle ground of indecision. From there, the work targets unconscious patterns—the operating system that drives behavior—because “the unconscious mind can’t hear the clarifying don’t; it just knows what you’re focused on.”

Riana explains how recycled thoughts and unresolved loss shape repeated outcomes, and why clearing resentment, cycles, and emotional charge allows you to “stand on your story, not in it.” Once awareness is paired with new neurology, strategy, and behaviors, clients reverse-engineer the life they want and train their brain to spot aligned opportunities. The result is self-trust, stronger boundaries, and relationships that match who they’ve become.

Listeners will walk away with a practical framework for breaking hidden patterns, gaining clarity faster, and finally creating the life they’ve been aiming at instead of almost reaching it.

Key takeaways

Clear old stories before trying to create a new life.Define values and non-negotiables to make faster, cleaner decisions.Stop focusing on what you don’t want—your brain tracks it.Replace old neurology with new behaviors after awareness.Reverse-engineer desired outcomes to activate your brain’s navigation system.Stand on your story; don’t let it define you.