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Poems of Jonathan Swift, Volume Two

Public domain audiobook

Poems of Jonathan Swift, Volume Two

by Jonathan Swift

English· 09:53:33· 136 chapters
He lived simply, loved his walks and craved the company of fellow poetical wits as they craved his company in return. With his pal Dr. Sheridan, for one, Jonathan Swift delighted in the 18th century equivalent of a rap off – going back and forth in dueling verse repartee. This second volume is a cornucopia of biting, iconoclastic humor and earnest criticism of injustice. Poems herein concerning Wood’s Halfpence are the companion to his famous Drapier’s Letters and trumpet his achievement in stirring up sufficient outcry to spare Ireland from damaging monetary debasement. He knew what real money was: “For in all the leases that ever we hold We must pay our rent in good silver and gold, And not in brass tokens of such a base mould.” And he didn’t think much of monetary debasement’s evil twin, fractional reserve banking, either: “We want our money on the nail The Banker’s ruin’d if he pays”. There’s a healthy smattering here of bums and urination references too – just so you know these are genuine Swift poems -- and all manner of other topics too. In Death and Daphne, written for a favorite grisette, we learn of Death’s sagging libido due to the skinniness of his human bride. And the last poem excoriating Sheridan for comparing base women to noble clouds is a heavenly coup de grâce for any challenger who would dare to top his politically incorrect and thunderous wit:

Some critic may object, perhaps,

That clouds are blamed for giving claps;

But what, alas! are claps ethereal,

Compared for mischief to venereal?
- Summary by Arthur Krolman

LibriVox recordings are public domain in the United States; copyright status may differ elsewhere.

Chapters

  1. Chapter 1

    Cadenus and Vanessa

    39:36
  2. Chapter 2

    To Love

    03:09
  3. Chapter 3

    A Rebus by Vanessa and Answer

    02:50
  4. Chapter 4

    Stella's Birthday

    03:48
  5. Chapter 5

    To Stella the Transcriber

    07:07
  6. Chapter 6

    To Stella While Sick

    06:16
  7. Chapter 7

    Stella's Birthday

    05:07
  8. Chapter 8

    Stella at Wood Park

    04:32
  9. Chapter 9

    A New Year's Gift for Bec and Dingley and Brent

    02:22
  10. Chapter 10

    Stella's Birthday

    02:19
  11. Chapter 11

    A Receipt to Restore Stella's Youth

    03:01
  12. Chapter 12

    Stella's Birthday etc.

    10:13
  13. Chapter 13

    Death and Daphne

    04:43
  14. Chapter 14

    Daphne

    02:26
  15. Chapter 15

    Pethox the Great

    04:32
  16. Chapter 16

    On a Pen

    02:25
  17. Chapter 17

    On Gold

    01:47
  18. Chapter 18

    On the Posteriors

    02:21
  19. Chapter 19

    On a Horn

    01:59
  20. Chapter 20

    On a Corkscrew

    02:03
  21. Chapter 21

    The Gulf of All Human Possessions

    05:17
  22. Chapter 22

    Louisa to Strephon

    02:37
  23. Chapter 23

    A Maypole and On Moon, Circle, Ink

    04:08
  24. Chapter 24

    On the Five Senses

    01:36
  25. Chapter 25

    Fontinella to Florinda

    01:35
  26. Chapter 26

    On Echo, Glass, Time, Gallows, Vowels, Snow, Cannon, Dice, Candle

    10:06
  27. Chapter 27

    To Lady Cartaret, Answer etc.

    04:32
  28. Chapter 28

    On Cutting Down the Thorn

    04:31
  29. Chapter 29

    Dean Swift at Sir Arthur Acheson's

    02:25
  30. Chapter 30

    On a Very Old Glass at Market Hill etc.

    01:19
  31. Chapter 31

    My Lady's Lamentation

    07:38
  32. Chapter 32

    A Pastoral Dialogue

    04:35
  33. Chapter 33

    The Grand Question Debated

    11:29
  34. Chapter 34

    Drapier's Hill

    01:23
  35. Chapter 35

    The Dean's Reasons

    05:17
  36. Chapter 36

    The Revolution at Market Hill

    05:11
  37. Chapter 37

    Robin and Harry

    02:48
  38. Chapter 38

    A Panegyric on the Dean

    16:38
  39. Chapter 39

    Twelve Articles

    02:09
  40. Chapter 40

    Crowe's Address to Her Majesty

    02:50
  41. Chapter 41

    Jack Frenchman's Lamentation

    03:02
  42. Chapter 42

    The Garden Plot and Sid Hamet's Rod

    05:38
  43. Chapter 43

    The Famous Speech-Maker

    08:53
  44. Chapter 44

    Parody on the Recorder's Speech

    02:39
  45. Chapter 45

    Ballad

    02:57
  46. Chapter 46

    Atlas Minister of State and Harley Stabbed

    01:48
  47. Chapter 47

    An Excellent New Song

    03:34
  48. Chapter 48

    The Windsor Prophecy

    01:52
  49. Chapter 49

    Corinna, a Ballad

    01:49
  50. Chapter 50

    The Fable of Midas

    04:13
  51. Chapter 51

    Toland's Invitation to Dismal

    03:28
  52. Chapter 52

    Peace and Dunkirk

    02:13
  53. Chapter 53

    Imitation of Horace, Epist. I, vii

    06:18
  54. Chapter 54

    The Author upon Himself

    05:02
  55. Chapter 55

    The Fagot

    02:40
  56. Chapter 56

    Imitation of Horace, Sat.VI, ii

    05:30
  57. Chapter 57

    Horace paraphrased, Odes II, i

    05:35
  58. Chapter 58

    Dennis' Invitation to Steele

    10:22
  59. Chapter 59

    In Sickness

    01:58
  60. Chapter 60

    The Fable of the Bitches

    02:47
  61. Chapter 61

    To the Earl of Oxford in the Tower

    02:08
  62. Chapter 62

    On the Church's Danger and On High Church

    01:36
  63. Chapter 63

    The Story of Phaethon

    02:45
  64. Chapter 64

    A Tale of a Nettle

    03:16
  65. Chapter 65

    A Satirical Elegy

    01:57
  66. Chapter 66

    Parody on Pratt's Speech

    04:23
  67. Chapter 67

    An Excellent New Song

    02:18
  68. Chapter 68

    The Run upon the Bankers

    03:17
  69. Chapter 69

    Upon the Horrid Plot

    03:47
  70. Chapter 70

    Quibbling Elegy on Judge Boat

    03:13
  71. Chapter 71

    Verses on Whitshed's Motto

    01:38
  72. Chapter 72

    Prometheus

    03:57
  73. Chapter 73

    Verses on the Order of the Bath and Epigram on Wood's Brass Money

    01:33
  74. Chapter 74

    A Simile

    01:53
  75. Chapter 75

    Wood an Insect

    02:43
  76. Chapter 76

    Wood the Ironmonger

    02:07
  77. Chapter 77

    Wood's Petition

    02:12
  78. Chapter 78

    A New Song on Wood's Halfpence

    04:26
  79. Chapter 79

    A Serious Poem

    06:59
  80. Chapter 80

    An Excellent New Song

    04:55
  81. Chapter 81

    Verses on the Judge Who Condemned the Drapier's Printer

    01:44
  82. Chapter 82

    Horace paraphrased, Odes I, xiv

    05:19
  83. Chapter 83

    Verses on St. Patrick's Well

    07:38
  84. Chapter 84

    On Reading Dr. Young's Satire

    02:43
  85. Chapter 85

    The Dog and Thief

    01:24
  86. Chapter 86

    Mad Mullinix and Timothy

    12:09
  87. Chapter 87

    Tim and the Fables

    01:54
  88. Chapter 88

    Tom and Dick

    01:48
  89. Chapter 89

    Dick, a Maggot

    00:59
  90. Chapter 90

    Clad All in Brown

    01:45
  91. Chapter 91

    Dick's Variety

    02:00
  92. Chapter 92

    Traulus, Part I

    04:49
  93. Chapter 93

    Traulus, Part II

    02:27
  94. Chapter 94

    A Fable of the Lion

    03:20
  95. Chapter 95

    On the Irish Bishops

    03:43
  96. Chapter 96

    Horace, Odes Iv, ix

    04:01
  97. Chapter 97

    On Walpole and Pulteney

    03:14
  98. Chapter 98

    Brother Protestants

    03:08
  99. Chapter 99

    Bettesworth's Exultation and Epigram to Sergeant Kite

    03:20
  100. Chapter 100

    The Yahoo's Overthrow

    04:27
  101. Chapter 101

    On Cashel and Bettesworth, Irish Club, Noisy Tom

    03:48
  102. Chapter 102

    On Dr. Rundle and Epigram

    03:18
  103. Chapter 103

    The Legion Club

    10:24
  104. Chapter 104

    On Printer's to Newgate, Libel Vindication, Apology, Ay and No, Ballad, Wicked Libel

    08:24
  105. Chapter 105

    Epigrams against Carthy

    05:25
  106. Chapter 106

    Poetical Epistle to Sheridan

    03:23
  107. Chapter 107

    The Upstart

    01:49
  108. Chapter 108

    Waterford and Blenheim

    01:24
  109. Chapter 109

    An Excellent new Song on the Grand Jury

    02:16
  110. Chapter 110

    The Archbishop of Dublin

    05:13
  111. Chapter 111

    To the Citizens

    02:27
  112. Chapter 112

    Punch's Petition and Epigrams

    04:46
  113. Chapter 113

    George Rochfort's Verses

    01:25
  114. Chapter 114

    A Left-Handed Letter and Replies

    04:53
  115. Chapter 115

    To the Dean of St. Patrick's and Replies

    20:39
  116. Chapter 116

    Mr. Thomas Sheridan and Replies

    05:35
  117. Chapter 117

    On Dr. Sheridan's Circular Verses

    03:09
  118. Chapter 118

    On Dan Jackson's Picture and Replies

    14:16
  119. Chapter 119

    The Pardon

    02:36
  120. Chapter 120

    The Last Speech and Dying Words of Daniel Jackson

    03:24
  121. Chapter 121

    To the Rev. Daniel Jackson

    02:59
  122. Chapter 122

    Sheridan to Swift and Reply

    03:04
  123. Chapter 123

    Mary the Cook Maid's Letter

    03:29
  124. Chapter 124

    A Portrait from the Life

    00:57
  125. Chapter 125

    On Stealing a Crown when the Dean was asleep

    01:47
  126. Chapter 126

    Prologue and Epilogue to a Play

    02:55
  127. Chapter 127

    The Song

    01:46
  128. Chapter 128

    A New Year's Gift for the Dean of St. Patrick's

    03:22
  129. Chapter 129

    To Quilca, Country Life and A Faithful Inventory

    03:19
  130. Chapter 130

    Palinodia

    02:33
  131. Chapter 131

    Letter to the Dean and Invitation to Dinner

    04:23
  132. Chapter 132

    On the Five Ladies and Replies

    03:41
  133. Chapter 133

    Ballad on Ballyspellin and Reply

    05:43
  134. Chapter 134

    An Epistle to Two Friends etc.

    04:57
  135. Chapter 135

    A True and Faithful Inventory

    01:30
  136. Chapter 136

    A New Simile for the Ladies and Answer

    12:41